Joe’s Advice for the Online Gambler – Volume 1

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Sunday Morning, around 11am, my buddy Frame and I are at a bar on the strip drinking. I can hear you wondering if, perhaps, 11am is too early in the day to be drinking, but I can assure you its not – it has to be happy hour some place right?

A year ago Frame and I made a deal when we started to take online casino seriously. Sunday morning was our time, to discuss our play from the past week.

Usually talk is positive, we are both online gaming winners so after 5 minutes figuring out bragging rights, the rest of the morning is spent watching what ever game we can bet on whilst we drink.

However, today things are different. This is how the conversation went down.


Joe: Hey dude, how you been running this week?

Frame: I haven’t been playing.

Joe: What!!!?!

Frame: Man, I don’t know what to do, this new girl I have been seeing hates online gambling and she wont date me if I gamble online!

My first instinct was grab him, push him to the ground, slap him silly and beat some sense into him. But there was a crowd, there would be a scene, the cops would be involved – I decided to just talk to him.

I gave him some advice. Because, hey relationships are what I do and online gambling is what I know. Surely if anyone is an authority on these subjects, it’s me right?

This information is not intended for people who have a serious gambling problem. If you have no idea how to manage the bankroll in your online casino account then this is not for you, seek help, or if you want to be serious about online gaming then talk to people you respect and try to learn.

But if you’re like me and nothing hits the spot more than holding 16 against a dealers picture card and watching that magical 5 peel off then I have news for you! You are an online gambler, this is who you are! This is what you do!

You cannot spend your life with a girl who hates this! The same way that an ex-smoker can’t marry a pack-a-day man. You andd your partner need common ground. She doesn’t need to be an online gambler, but she needs to respect you and love you for who you are.

I explained this to Frame as best I could after a few tall, cold ones. I honestly believe that even if this girl looked like Jessica Alba and walked around the house in a bikini all the time that he should still leave her because you cannot be happy in a relationship with someone who doesn’t love you for who you are.

So Frame thought for about 5 minutes, did not utter a word, until finally he picked up his phone, dialled in a number, and said, “Hey, I’m sorry but there has been a change of plans I can’t make it tonight.” He then hung up the phone before she could respond.

He then smiled at me and asked what I was doing for the rest of the day. The answer was obvious, as it is the same every Sunday after breakfast (so I’m an alcoholic, sue me!). We went to my house and logged on for some intense online gambling, a session inspired by the gods. Within 3 hours Frame had forgotten about “what’s her name” and world order was restored.

Ed note: Always take Joey’s advice with a grain of salt.